I often wonder how something so ugly and horrible could exist. How can there be such strong evil. Don’t get me wrong, I know why evil exists. I just can’t quite comprehend the evil of addiction. It’s different to me. It robs you of your agency, binds you up. Then when you want to change, you still feel like there is a lifetime of fighting ahead of you. It makes me feel helpless and angry. Like we’re the evil we are fighting is a million times stronger than we are.
The more I learn about addiction through time, the less answers I have. I get more lost. Maybe that’s the cycle most people go through? Starting out with a bright and perfect hope, then diminishing through the seemingly never-ending struggle.
The Addicts Wife