OK so there is this thing. AND I JUST DO. NOT. GET IT. Like age=wisdom, respect your elders, and “oh honey just wait until you’re older, then you’ll understand”.
I remember completely not understanding these rules of the world when I was really young. I could name one specific instance but there was so many just like it that I feel okay grouping them together. Any time I would engage in a conversation with an adult sharing my opinion the same things would happen. I would like to add that these were not the snarky, rude conversations that their responses might infer. My parents usually would scold me, or give me that wide eyed look that silently told me to “stop”, but the real emotion I read on their face was embarrassment. Blend in, stay small, show respect. The other adults saw me as disrespectful because I was too young to have an opinion on anything.
When I was in my teens I was too young to really understand life, when I was in dating I was laughed at for the things I wished for in a husband, then when I was married I was always belittled for being in the sweet little honeymoon stage.
Later in my twenties, surrounded my large family we were all discussing the depth of parenting. My husband and I contributed to that conversation something we felt about a parent child relationship and immediately what followed was those all too familiar superior looks at us explaining, “oh just wait until you have kids, then I want to hear what you have to say.” In that same setting, my sister in law who did have one child voiced her thoughts, which were faithfully met with the reply, “You only have one kid, just wait until you have more.”
I am officially rejecting this notion that age automatically equals wisdom. Also discounting other people has a payoff of superiority which feels nice but actually is nothing but mean spirited. Also do you ever learn anything if you’re always needing to be the smartest in the room? Asking for a friend. All that ever taught me was to stay small, and that my voice didn’t matter.
First its because you’re young, then its because you’re not married, then its because you don’t have kids, then you don’t have enough kids. DO YOU SEE THE PATTERN? If you let them, they will always find a new way to make you inferior, and staying small serves no one. If you don’t believe me, believe Mother Teresa:
People are often unreasonable, irrational and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies;
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you;
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight;
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten;
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
You can live your whole life not paying attention, and you can be young and know truth. You can be old and wise, and young and careless.
Kind looks good on everyone. And the only thing I’ve learned from superiority is that I never want to be that.