Month: February 2019

My Helping Was Hurting

Its so difficult to find the sweet spot between enabling and supporting.  Loving and enabling so often feel like the same thing.
My friend got her daughter a baby chick and she LOVED this animal more than anything. She played with her chick non-stop.  The following morning they found out that got her chick out of the cage to sleep with it so it wasn’t alone, and accidentally suffocated it.  She was devastated.  Her love for her chick ended up killing it.
Taking on responsibility for my husbands actions, protecting him so he didn’t crash and burn, rescuing, shielding, saving wasn’t helping; it was hurting.
My helping was hurting. So I had to learn how to let go.
To let go is not to give up,
its having faith
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
I cannot control another
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
its to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care ABOUT.
To let go is not to fix, 
but to be supportive
To let go is to not be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to use their agency
To let go is to not be protective,
its to permit another to face reality
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it
To let go is not to look outward or regulate anybody,
but to look inward, and find God there
To let go is not to regret or live in the past,
but to grow and live today, for the future.