truth

Knowing and Unknowing

butterflyu

“The day you teach the child the name of the bird, the child will never see that bird again” –Krishnamurti

In order to have an open, intimate experience of life we need to connect to people and things.  SO. Think of the world.  What it would look like walking through the world without naming things. Like flowers, trees, birds, etc.  When you name things, you no longer see the majesty and stillness and brilliance because we “know” it. Does that make sense?  Think about it…..like because we know what it is we usually take it for granted, overlook it, and don’t experience the beauty as if it were something we didn’t know. They still exist whether we name them or not.  If you look at something without saying what it is, you have a different experience.  You have an intimate experience with life.  With existence.

Now think of children…..the INNOCENCE OF CHILDREN. What makes them different that us, is that they know they don’t know.  They marvel and are curious, and are astounded by the beauty of life.  Adults THINK they know.  So we overlook, disconnect, and ultimately isolate from both the world and people.  Which I think is our spiritual side.  And this same thought applies for why we miss spirituality and God in general.

It’s the ego. “I KNOW” that changes your experience with things.

If that is true, then humility is the key to unknowing.

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…But I’ll take both 

Tonight I was sitting here gloomy like I have been the past while.  I came across a blog post by my soul sister, Glennon Melon Doyle(if you haven’t read Love Warrior, do it NOW). Immediately a light switch flipped on. Immediately (I need to pause to take that in).  I don’t even know how I found it(well).  That moment was perfect.  I finally felt a perfect acceptance of myself just the way I am.  I spend so much energy hating myself, wishing for everything to be different, shaming myself. All on the inside of course.  That would sound extreme to anyone who knows me but it’s the God forsaken truth.  But that moment it all vanished just like the darkness.  I felt acknowledged.  Understood. Connected, not alone.  Glennon sat beside me, stared into me, and said, “me too”.

So because of this small big moment,  I decided to take Glennons’ beautiful writing, and make it my own because heaven knows it’s my story too.
“My highs are high and my lows are low. I love easily but I cry and yell easily,too. I am quick to hug, and quick to anger. I have many struggles, many times a day. But I experience pure joy too, everyday.
I’m not the type to roll with things. I get very down- for reasons I can never identify. I think eighteen times a day how no one in the history of the world has ever had a harder life than I do. Then in the very same second, acknowledge 10 examples of how that will never be true. If I could choose a phrase to describe the polar opposite of my personality, it would be “easy-breezy”.

Sometimes I get so upset that I become debilitated. I’m talking crumble to the ground, tears, head in hands… the whole she-bang. My break downs appear to be brought on by one little thing, like a grocery bag breaking in the driveway – and so he will say, “It’s okay, it’s just a grocery bag,” and I’ll say: “IT’S NOT A GROCERY BAG! IT’S EVERYTHING! WHY CAN’T YOU SEE IT’S EVERYTHING???” And I don’t want anyone to try to fix it or fix me – I just want to be upset. I just need to be upset for awhile. Because life is upsetting, obviously.

I do not cruise through life. I sort of crash through life. But I also “WOW” through life, too.

And so it’s okay. I’ll take the lows with the highs. The valleys are deep but the mountains are high and I’ll take both.”